art journal -"direction"

It's been awhile since I've posted a new page. Life is full right now. The word prompt was direction - interesting word to think about. How would I express direction in my life in pictures and words? My thoughts turned to the area in my life that I wrestle with most ... recently anyway. As much as I love my children and know in my heart of hearts that I am blessed beyond measure to have the privilege of being a mom - three times - and I have the added privilege of staying home with them. Motherhood has not come easily or naturally to me. I'm very task oriented, very driven, very people oriented. Being a mommy of young children has more often than not felt like a very tight box that gives me very little wiggle room. Being a mom is extremely rewarding, yes. There are very few things that melt my heart like my daughter's warm breath on my face when I'm rocking her at nap or bed time. The little fill in the blank book that Hunter made me for Mother's Day that said at the end, "My mom is .... the bomb!" The preschool songs that say:

I


LOVE


YOU All of these things and more make being a mom is a rich and growing experience. Yet, if I can be totally honest, it has been an area where I often feel tied down, isolated, and frustrated. If you know me at all, you know I do not like to be tied down. There is so much more to me than being a mom (which I believe is true of every mom). Though that is what demands most of my time. So my journal page reflects the tight box I have felt as a mommy, and the other box of being an artist - when I protect that part of me so closely, it has also felt limiting and isolated. As I thought about it, and brought it to prayer, I felt like God recently showed me ... these two parts of me don't have to be mututally exclusive! Ahh haa!! It sounds so simple, but to me it's quite an epiphany. When I combine the different parts of me; when I share my passions with my children rather than keep them a separate identity, the box can't help but to explode with possibilities. It can't be contained! I'm excited about this. It was an "ah ha" moment for me. I plan to live in it - in the freedom of being fully me as a mother - and not a separate me outside of mother.
I've shared my feelings about motherhood with moms who have no idea what I'm talking about; others of you will be able to relate completely. We are all wired differently - that's what makes this world so interesting! We need all kinds of moms - and we all want the same thing - to raise our children to be independant responsible adults and in my case, to love God with all their heart, mind, and strength. God bless all you moms. It is the hardest, most important job in the world ... in my humble opinion.