art journal - "truth"

I chose to journal about something that I've wrestled with for a long long time. I've gone from wishing ... to hoping ... to believing the truth about this statement. I am an artist. For me that is a bold statement and has taken me a long time to allow others to say about me let alone embrace it as truth in my own spirit. I've wanted to be an artist since kindergarten. I called myself an artist wanna-be for many years, thinking that I had to sell my work, or create something desirable to others, or have my degree in art, or that my own look or style would come naturally. If I wasn't making a living even part time, with my art, I wasn't an artist. It got to a point where I was so afraid of not being what my heart longed to be that I didn't create anything at all for fear of disappointing myself - that my work wouldn't look at all artsy or measure up to my own standards of what an artist should produce. It would just be a dream that perhaps would never come true. The world doesn't necessarily embrace artists as valuable, just talented. It's tough to make a full time living as an artist unless you're one of the lucky few who are. One of the books that was pivotal in changing my perspective about myself was The Creative Call. I've come to understand that I'm wired to be an artist. I'm an artist because I create, not because I produce something other's find desirable. I make things that I think are beautiful! Observers don't have to like it. I love it. I loved the process of creating it. I think it's beautiful. I call it art, therefore I am an artist!! In the last 3 or 4 years I have discovered the joy of creating again, I even let other's introduce me as, "This is my friend the Artist." Sometimes I still struggle, but I choose to embrace that title and wear it proud! To all the other artists and creative types out there. Embrace the truth about the creation of your soul, the desire to create and appreciate beautiful things. Your inner artist is not defined by what other's think of you. You are an artist because that's who you were created to be.

beautiful

After a mini blizzard here yesterday ... today's sunshine and 40 degree temps were a welcome and beautiful sight. We ended our cold spring break with a visit to the Garfield Park Conservatory with my mom ... about a 5 minute jaunt from where my parents live. What a treat to experience a little bit of spring and heaven all in one trip!


These pictures do not do this place justice. What a beautiful sight ... a feast for the eyes!

spring break fun

Who needs the islands when you can have this? When the boys can't be outside ... our living room turns into a jungle gym. That is until baby goes down for a nap, then mom becomes the "please-be-quiet- the-baby's-sleeping!" nap nazi. We tried this bike ride earlier in the morning but turned around four houses down. Too bitter cold and windy! The afternoon allowed us to try again ... this shot was taken over my shoulder while riding!! I can't believe it turned out!
Today was pool day - the boys were so excited, they've been waiting for "Wednesday" to roll around for like ... forever! Even Kiana got into it. This girl has no fear - she just walked right in all the way up to her chin, then holding on to both my hands she discovered she floats! Cute.
The whole gang - the beach isn't far off guys - just a couple more months! Can't wait.

spring break ...

Well, I'm so mad, I forgot my camera for the big Easter egg hunt at Grandma's house yesterday. It was a fun time. She goes all out. Each grandchild is assigned a color and all 7 grandchildren run around the house looking for 10 of their own color egg. Even Kiana! Cute. They did great at not picking up each other's eggs! I wish I had captured some of the magic. All I have from Easter is a picture of the cutest little Easter teddy's! My mom made these for the kids ... they are about 4 inches tall, very cute!


This one's for you Nana!! Thanks for the cute teddies! These monkey's would not cooperate for a "cute" picture though ... this is the best I can do. :o)
Okay ... so this was our Good Friday .... not much of the spring break weather we were hoping for. So, to get over our disappointment today and regain ownership of spring break ... we decided ... since we can't go to the islands, we would bring the islands to our home! We put on leis and put on a little reggae (I know we're a little mixed up on the Hawaiian and Jamaican thing but I aim to go with what we've got). So, Hunter did the hula to calypso!
Then the calypso rockers came out of nowhere!

Walking through the parking lot to the grocery store we heard birds ... I tried to get them to pretend we were walking through the parking lot to the beach ...

"Pretend we're going to the beach! Do you hear the sea gulls guys?"
Whoosh ... big blast of cold air ...
"Feel the ocean breeze on your face?! Take a deep breath! Isn't it wonderful boys?"
"Mom ... I see snow."
"Then close your eyes!"

Yep ... I've really got them hangin' with some fun surprises this week ... besides my lame attempt to fake us all out and think we're in Florida or Hawaii or Jamaica ... what I can do is surprise them with lunch stuff I wouldn't normally buy, special breakfasts that I wouldn't normally make, tropical type dinners (ham and pineapple ... does that count?) ... just trying to keep spring break fun in spite of the 30 degree weather and snow ... we do plan to swim this week! ... in an indoor pool.

art journal - "begin"

So many ways to illustrate "begin" - the word prompt for this week (click on the highlighted word to get to the page where I get all of the word prompts for each week). All these things go through my mind ... the fact that each day is a new day ... God's grace is new every morning ... don't put off for tomorrow what you can do for today ... life at birth is a new beginning ... it's never too late to begin - to go to school, to learn something new, to start something you've always dreamed of.

Being that today is Easter Sunday, my mind is drawn to the new beginning we have when we come to accept Jesus gift of his life on the cross in place of ours. Forgiven is written on my life because of Jesus sacrifice. Today we have the privilege of celebrating Resurrection Sunday!! I believe Jesus is alive and prepares a place for me in heaven. I believe that there is a heaven and there is a hell. I believe that what Jesus said is true in John 3:3 "...I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again." And John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him, will not perish but have eternal life." None of what Jesus ever said relates to good works getting us to heaven. It's all about His grace to forgive us when we don't deserve it. We'll never be good enough - we are born sinners. Have you ever lied or judged someone? We had a gifted man speak at our church this morning. Mark Cahill. He was so inspiring with his passion to share what he knows about Jesus. Not just believes about Him, but KNOWS about him. Mark's faith and experience with talking with those who have had near death experiences ... both near heaven with "seeing the light", as well as near hell, with experiencing the closeness of death and darkness. It was eye opening, convicting, and placed a sense of urgency on my heart. Both places exist and both places are for eternity when we leave this life ... which we will. I urge any of you who read this blog to pick up a Bible, any bible. Read the gospel of John, or any gospel. Explore Jesus for yourself. Find out if this Jesus is for you ... you won't be sorry ...

pearler beads ...

These things are from heaven! The boys have been making things since Saturday ... minimal fighting ... creativity galore! They got a bin of these for Christmas and every once in a while we'll bring them out and it provides a week of entertainment!!! Some of what they've created include ...

Football players ...

Yoda ...

Skateboarders ...

A snowboarding baby ...

So ... I love pearler beads ... they are my best friend this week. They've made waiting for spring a little more bearable.

This is how I would feel if it weren't for pearler beads ... major cabin fever ...

She gives me the best shots! (Got these at Walmart for $5 yesterday ... they're like 3 inches long ... the cutest things ever!)

to dye for ...

We dyed Krista's hair again ... darker!!!

Oh my gosh, do we look like sisters or what?! Look at our smile - it's identical! If our mom were in the picture you would see where we get it from. She looks sort of like this ...
... only a little older. Krista is mom's clone. It's a family joke. And now with the dark brown hair ... it's scary how much she looks like mom!!! I told her she's going to freak herself out when she gets a glimpse of herself in the mirror ... she's going to think Mom's in the bathroom with her!! Krista's new do looks so cool. What a fresh and stunning change. Thanks for letting me play beauty shop today Krista!

We also dyed Easter eggs this week. Mom and I discovered 3 tablespoons of vinegar makes the colors more vibrant - one bad thing ... our red didn't dissolve at all. The tablet just broke up into little floaties in the water and vinegar mixture ... no pink eggs this year. I love this ... a feast for the eyes!!
We even tried to make an egg that looked like the color poop. The boys loved that idea ... except I think we need the red dye to get a brown poop color. Ours turned out more like newborn baby green poop color ... with turquois spots. Ha! We've gotten some laughs out of it. I have to credit my friend Laura for the idea. Her family does it every year and then gives the egg to the person in the family who's had the crabbiest attitude that year. Hilarius.
So ... our family is adopting a new tradition ... at least the part of trying to get one egg as close to poop color as possible. I think it's great. It makes the boys day. I think my husband thinks I'm a dork ... and I have weird friends.

art journal - "soul"

This week's word prompt was soul ... I thought about it a lot. How do you express the word that is the deepest part of you. The part that if you choose to expose it, you expose the most vulnerable piece of yourself. The soul is the core of who I am, the real me, the me that only those I fully trust know, or the part that only a select few take the time to see. I guess I decided to focus on the longing of my soul. The longing to be free. Free to be me, free to be a good mom, free to be more than a mom, free to be an artist, free to accept myself regardless of what others think of me, free to understand who I am as a child of God.
The more confident I grow and the more I embrace who I am created to be ... the more free I become in all areas of my life.

art supplies ...

I love playing with art supplies. I was asked, "what are water soluble oil pastels?" So ... I thought I'd do a little demo. My husband thought I was kidding ... of course it sounds ridiculous ... oil is not water soluble! Well ... these little babies are. I was drawn to these because of the deep saturated color they provide. Here's my first project playing with them ... I found them at Dick Blick.

You can either dip the pastel in water, start with wet paper, or draw dry and spray with water ... each technique gives a different effect.
I prefer the dip in water then color option. The water makes it so creamy and smooth!
The colors can be blended with your finger ....
And I've chosen to layer other paints and stamps. If you look closely you'll notice I actually doodled in the wet pastels before I layered on the paints. I forgot to take a picture of that part.
The finished piece! Now available in my etsy shop!!

life w/out girlfriends ...

... would be very depressing. A girl must have girlfriends. They are her lifeline.

I woke up rather sad today. Maybe it's just from being run down, maybe the grey sky, maybe being in this house for a week straight. I miss the land of the living. Enter Girlfriend: she calls and tells me to get myself something special today - no guilt. I think "coffee" right away.

Postal delivery guy rings doorbell and sets big package in my door for ... ME! Girlfriend (going 25 years back?!?!) from Brooklyn, NY (it sounds so glamorous!) sent me a bursting package of creative supplies and a sweet sweet note encouraging me in my artistic endeavours!

She gets it ... the creative process and how fulfilling & necessary it is for us creative types. She's one whom I always felt I could never be as creative as she ... she's SO talented. Just look at this. It's so much more beautiful in person ... to touch and to look at!

Art is a lifestyle. She gets it. Thank you SO much Jules!! You made my day. Paw Power! Ha ha!!

Then the original phone call girlfriend drops by with a gingerbread cake and a card with big chocolate lips. And a big hug just for me. I love her.

Then another Girlfriend sends me an e-card that tells me I'm "Babelicious!" and all sorts of other pick-me-up terms like a kid saying "I wish you were MY mom!" Ha ha! You make me laugh.

So I got out of the house, picked up a Starbucks Hazelnut Latte, just for me. Put the baby to bed and had two big hunks of gingerbread cake with my latte. Aidan didn't want to share my cake ... he wanted my latte - he doesn't know I'm very territorial about my very rare treat - this is one thing mom won't share.

Anyway, girlfriends can be next door or hundreds of miles away - I haven't seen my NY girlfriend in years but somehow it doesn't seem to change our friendship - each time we connect it seems like yesterday we just spoke. It's amazing. We go a year without talking and it doesn't matter. When we do connect again, it's so sweet and natural. Life changes, paths don't cross with some girlfriends for a while and it takes more effort to connect, and you make new girlfriends with whom your path crosses more often because of life circumstances. Some you talk to every day, some once a month, and others once a year or so ... but each one is so valuable. My life is so rich because of my girlfriends. My girlfriends fill a space in my heart that no one else can. And that is good. I'm feeling much better. Thanks girlfriends near and far ... I love you so much!!!

35 ...

Happy birthday to me! It was snowing this morning, which usually would be a guest that has worn out it's welcome, but today it was beautiful. They were big glittery snowflakes. I'll take a fresh snow over the grey ugly melty mess under it any birthday. All five of us (Kiana got it today) are still suffering from the uninvited guest named flu. We've discovered that we are no longer able to laugh as a family. Laughing throws all of us into a fit of coughing hysterics. It's horrible, we all laugh and it puts us into tears!

My 25 year old sister thinks 35 sounds old. I thought 35 sounded old at 25 too, but being that I'm now 35 ... it's not so old. I'm another year wiser, I have another year of perspective, I have another year of discovering who I am and who I am created to be under my belt. I'm more secure as a mom, I'm more secure as an artist, I'm more secure as a friend, and in who I am. I have so much more to learn and every year is just going to get better. Difficult .... maybe ... but better for it in the end. I wouldn't go back to 25 - those were great years - but I wouldn't go back and have to learn all I've learned all over again. Learning is not easy.

While everyone slept, sneezed, hacked, and watched movies at home I celebrated with an afternoon run to my favorite store ever ... all alone! I had intended to take pictures of all the pretty stuff, but I got so lost in my own dreamy land of all the possibilities ... I forgot to take pictures!

I bought home a new toy though. Water soluble oil pastels. I can't wait to play with them tomorrow! I've been longing for these for a while. Happy birthday to me ... time for a hot fudge sundae!

on the mend ...

We're finally on the mend. A whole week off of school and we ended on a great note! What a fun day Hunter and I had. He's feeling much better.

I started the day with carving my own stamps ... this is so addicting what a blast - it's like carving erasers - but it feels so artsy and creative and fulfilling.

Have you ever been annoyed with the spoon in your cup smacking you in the face when you try to drink your hot chocolate? Here's Hunter's solution. First brace the handle of the spoon on your forehead, then place mouth in the appropriate drinking position, then tilt head back to get every last drop without getting smacked with the spoon. Ingenious.

Then lick chocolate chip cookie dough. Poor baby ... still fighting the bug ... but everything is better when teddy is close by.
This topped the day off. Hunter kept watching me carve my stamps, I let him try it once or twice ... and already he was addicted - begging me if he could do his own. I was so hesitant. The materials cost money, the tool is sharp, blah blah blah. Once I got over the fears that he might slice a finger or something ... I just decided, I'll just be watchful and teach him how to use it correctly. The materials are meant to be used. I do want him to have opportunities to experiment - why am I holding this so closely?!? I can't tell you how much joy it brought me to watch Hunter get a kick out of carving his own stamp. He said, "I just love this mom!" He was so responsible and responsive to my direction and little tips on how best to use each attachment - by the end he was changing the attachments himself to suite his needs. It was awesome! He definitely has some creative talent and artistic drive.
Unfortunately ... after his stamp was done ... we realized that it was going to stamp backwards ... we had to start over and carve the stamp backwards so it would stamp frontwards ... you'll have to think about that one because I don't know how to make it make sense ... it was a bummer.