art journal - "truth"

I chose to journal about something that I've wrestled with for a long long time. I've gone from wishing ... to hoping ... to believing the truth about this statement. I am an artist. For me that is a bold statement and has taken me a long time to allow others to say about me let alone embrace it as truth in my own spirit. I've wanted to be an artist since kindergarten. I called myself an artist wanna-be for many years, thinking that I had to sell my work, or create something desirable to others, or have my degree in art, or that my own look or style would come naturally. If I wasn't making a living even part time, with my art, I wasn't an artist. It got to a point where I was so afraid of not being what my heart longed to be that I didn't create anything at all for fear of disappointing myself - that my work wouldn't look at all artsy or measure up to my own standards of what an artist should produce. It would just be a dream that perhaps would never come true. The world doesn't necessarily embrace artists as valuable, just talented. It's tough to make a full time living as an artist unless you're one of the lucky few who are. One of the books that was pivotal in changing my perspective about myself was The Creative Call. I've come to understand that I'm wired to be an artist. I'm an artist because I create, not because I produce something other's find desirable. I make things that I think are beautiful! Observers don't have to like it. I love it. I loved the process of creating it. I think it's beautiful. I call it art, therefore I am an artist!! In the last 3 or 4 years I have discovered the joy of creating again, I even let other's introduce me as, "This is my friend the Artist." Sometimes I still struggle, but I choose to embrace that title and wear it proud! To all the other artists and creative types out there. Embrace the truth about the creation of your soul, the desire to create and appreciate beautiful things. Your inner artist is not defined by what other's think of you. You are an artist because that's who you were created to be.